What Not To Say To Parents of Preemies.

                            As a mother to a preemie, he was born at 36w and measured 34w, there are several things that I cannot stand that people say to me because my son is a preemie. I was talking to a group of mothers who have preemies as well and we have come up with a list of things that we CANNOT stand when people say them to us and some reasoning behind them.

1. "Do you ever feed that child? He/she is so skinny!" Every child has to eat, just because they are a preemie doesn't mean they starve! even if they have a tube or mickey button they are still getting their nutrients that are needed!
2. "He/she isn't a preemie because they are a toddler." Yes, No matter how old the child is if they were premature they are considered a preemie!
3. "What did you do to make them come early?" Seriously?! Half the time a child is born early it is not the mothers fault. I had pre-eclampsia that the dumbass doctor didn't catch in time and if he wound't have come out when he did it could had ended bad for one or both of us!
4. "You can't just keep him/her at home you have to build up his/her immune system!" or "Being around germs boosts their immune system."
5. "They'll catch up." Depending on other health issues they may not. Even tho they are words with good intended, they are not supportive.
6. "Oh he/she finally looks like a normal baby." or "Oh, I can't wait until he/she finally looks like a normal baby." This is not okay to say to anyone!
7. "Atleast you didn't gain a lot of weight" or "Atleast you didn't get stretch marks." Honestly, I gained 40+ pounds but had no stretch marks. Some people who go term dont even gain lost or get stretch marks!
8. "When is he/she coming home?" Sometimes this is unknown, it is rude to ask!
9. "You are lucky you didn't go a full 9 months." A child needs to stay in the womb as long as possible that is why if your baby doesnt come on their own they induce you around 40-41 weeks.
10. "He/she doesn't need that tube in his/her belly he/she is just fine." or "Why can't you force them to eat/drink? they don't need that tube!" Because you know more than the doctors right? And they may also not take a bottle or breast hence why they need the tube! Also have you ever tried to force your child to eat/drink?
11. "You don't need to take him/her to the doctor for every little thing."
12. "You're just being overly cautious."
13. "Atleast you will have a small baby for a long time."
14. "I'm not sick" as you are coughing and sneezing. 
15. "I'm sick of being pregnant, this big, ect, I wish my baby came early too."
16. "Atleast you get to sleep at night!" This being said to those who's child is in the hospital. 
17. "How old is he/she? oh you are lying!" Seriously I am pretty sure I know when I brought my child into this world!
18. "What's wrong with your baby?"
19. "Oh, I totally know what you are going through." No you don't, unless you have a preemie STFU!
20. "Why does he/she have that tube in their nose?" or "Why does he/she need to be on oxygen and/or monitors?"
21. "Why do we have to sanitize our hands first?"
22. "Why are you pumping so much, go out and have some fun!" Breast milk is actually the best thing for a preemie you should be encouraging the mother!
23. "He's so big, there is no way he was a preemie!"
24. "So do you think you will hold on to this one a bit longer?"
25. If another pregnant person is talking about wanting to have there child at 37-40w and you say "Oh you wouldn't understand, you don't stay pregnant long enough!"
26. Comparing them to "normal" babies. We don't like being reminded that our child is behind.
27. "It would probably best if you don't have any more kids." There are some people who can't!
28. "Is he/she going to be retarded?"
29. "He/she is 1 why isn't he/she walking?" Not all children walk by 1, sorry to break it to ya!
30. "It was gods will that he not be there with you. That's why he came early."
31. "At least you didn't have to push a big baby out!" 
32. "Why don't you let anyone hold him/her?"
33. "A 37 weeker is a preemie." No, ask any OB/GYN.
34. "You feel sorry for yourself? Just think how your baby feels lying in the hospital all the time!" You think I don't fucking think about my child?!?!
35. "He/she is well now. It's all over." No it has just began, thank you.
36. "I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't be able to handle it." Because they are my child and if you had no other choice you would do it too!
37. "Soooo how long are they going to live?" This is not appropriate to say to anyone at any age!

I will be adding more as they come in.<3

Thanks for reading please check back in about a week or less! (: <3